Boredom and Regrets

I wish I am super filthy rich so at times like NOW, when boredom eats me up, I will only have to go to malls to shop and shop.

Clothes.

Shoes.

 Bags.

I love shopping! But that’s just it. Just loving shopping. How I wish it to be loving-and-doing actual shopping at the same time. Too bad. That is just something a girl like me could not afford.

I was born neither poor nor rich. My parents are both government employees whose salaries range from 25-65K per month. I’d like to believe that, since I and my family eat thrice every day, we are in the middle. But the middle couldn’t afford shoes of Jimmy Choo and Givenchy, bags of Hermes, and clothes of Yves Saint Laurent, Monique Lhuillier and all other else whose names I couldn’t even spell. How pathetic, right?

Arrgh! I don’t like being bored. It makes me think of the life I should have had given the chance to live my life differently. My college credentials, humility aside, could make me a somebody, but I have chosen to be what I am today, simple and un-luxurious, because of circumstances I couldn’t help changing, and people I couldn’t help giving up.

I hate boredom. It just makes me entertain regrets. And I don’t like regrets. AT ALL. 

Memories

It's happening again. That moment when I sit alone and my mind wanders on the things that had (and had not) happened in the past. Some memories are better left forgotten. 

Mine just squeeze my heart tight whenever I have recollections. 

I believe that I have already moved on and ran further forward, leaving the past behind. But they're there. The memories are there to pull me back and haunt me yet again. Over and over.

And then, comes rationality as always. If I can time-travel back to the past and change the course of those tumultuous events, I will never know and get to enjoy the life that I have now. I may not have much of the things I have dreamed of when I was younger, but I am still lucky to be where I am today. And I am thankful.

Lesson: You can never bring back and change the past but you can enjoy the things that you have and be happy with the people you are with... today and tomorrow. 

Nagbago Na Ang Mundo

Kung kagaya nyo ako na ginugugol ang oras sa walang kapararakang bagay, mapapansin nyo din ang ilan sa aking mga obserbasyon. Bagama't wala rin naman dapat kapararakan, mayroon namang impact sa araw-araw nating pamumuhay.

Nag-iiba na ang mundo. Hindi man natin gusto. 

Narito ang mga halimbawa:

1. Hindi na nakakahiyang umutang ngayon. Ang mas nakakahiya, iyong singil ng singil sa taong pinautang. Hindi ba at nakakabwisit yon? Kung sino pa ang nakautang, sya pa ang galit. At kung sino ang nagpautang, sya pa ang nahihiyang maningil. 

2. Nag-evolve na ang langaw at lamok. Bakit ka 'nyo? Matatalino na sila ngayon. Kung dati, kapag naglagay ka ng fly trap, iisipin ng langaw, pagkain yun. Ilang minuto pa lang, dadapo na sila. Ngayon, butiki na ang nakadikit sa fly trap. Diyata't bumobo din ang butiki? 

Kapag nag-clap ka ng isang beses, alam na ng lamok na sinisubukan mo silang patayin. Magtatago na ang mga yan.

3. Gustong-gusto ko man ang ideya na gaganda ang lahat ng kalsada, mas nananaig pa rin ang awa ko sa mga punong walang habas na pinagpuputol para lamang bigyang-daan ang road widening. Hindi ba nila naisip na babahain tayo kapag wala ng mga puno sa paligid? Kaawa-awang mga puno. At kapag binaha, kaawa-awang mga tao.

4. Kung nuong kabataan namin, malinis pa ang tubig sa batis na pinagliliguan namin, ngayon, kahit kalabaw, mandidiring magtampisaw. Punong-puno na ng basura at dumi ang kapaligiran.

5. Boring na ang childhood ngayon.  Burado na ang piko, sungka, tumbang-preso at patintero. Buti na lang may bazooka, sunshine, at mikmik pa.

6. Kapag ang bata, kinausap mo ng maayos, pabalang pa din kung sumagot. At bakit kaya may mga batang hindi makaintindi ng salitang "hindi" at "huwag"? Kapag sinabing "huwag ganyan", ipagpapatuloy pa din. Hindi mo alam kung nanadya o sadyang hindi lang makaunawa.

Kainis lang! 

I. Am. An. Artist. Period.

I was disgusted when I saw this painting containing a small dot with a few  lines, curves, and scratches. This disgust rooted from and is intended to the fact that, that framed simplicity could sell at malls and galleries. I just find it so "duh" that such a painting, that even my 2-year old niece can do, could generate a revenue. Funny, right?

Call me a bitch. But I believe my arts is way too better than that painting. At least, mine uses squares and rectangles in addition to lines, curves, and scratches!

I am an artist. Period. 

And my medium is varied. Watercolors. Charcoal. Acrylics.

Of the three, I believe I am best at charcoal- the easiest to manipulate. Lines and curves here and there? No sweat. Just let your hand move and create and realize whatever it it that your imagination dictates.

But my boastful opinion is something that I don't share with everybody else (They think my art is awful, even called my oak tree "pechay"!!! Hahaha!) I just believe that I am good, and that is self-declared. Nobody cares. Besides, arts is not about making perfection. It is about self-expression and having fun.

I am still a newbie in the watercolor field so I forgive the "pechay comment". But I am starting to enjoy painting so much so that I looked for some online tutorials. My online tutor is very good (he doesn't know I'm his student). Now my "pechay" looks like a tree already.

I will post some of my works later.

Anyway, here are the things I really want to learn gradually.

A. capture lights and shadows on my paintings
B. emphasize the smallest details of an image
C. make my image three dimensional and not look like a cartoon character
D. "glossy-fy" the look of my water when doing land and seascapes.

For free tips, please leave comments below. Thank you. :)

Purple Pictures

No. I don't mean purple, the color. Just the site I have come across while browsing on Google. Purpleport.com is a venue for showcasing talents in photography, modeling, and hair and makeup among others. I would say the suffix -port is "portfolio" abbreviated.

I would have a long blog for this and can go on and on, but I remember a friend reminding me that blogs shouldn't be long. They tend to wear the readers out, leaves them bored. So I just would like a short one for my photography comments.

Here's a list of my favorite photos- the ones which Dennis Valdez took.

Dennis is a UK-based Filipino photographer according to his page. He claims to be a newbie photographer  but his shots prove otherwise.

Let me show you:

a beautiful girl in a beautiful garden

I particularly like this, zoomed in an angle that left this girl the focal point of this photo. I am not aware of the history of Marie Antoinette and my ignorance also extends to fashion in her era but I believe this girl, queen or not, is a perfect epitome of beauty and power in the subtlest way. I love her dainty hands, the innocent eyes, and the breath of freshness just by staring at her. Also, I am so liking the "greens" as they dominate the entire photo.

a lingerie shot

This is exactly the photo I have been wanting for my self, me as the model! Haha! But seriously, who would mind posing in a skimpy lingerie if photos will turn out to be like this? Not vulgar. Just high fashion. I love the lighting effects as well as the model's whole package. I can almost hear her say, "Come and get me, baby", but her face is more of a No Touch kind of expression. I love it. It gives the feeling of being unreachable. I think this ad will sell. It's just perfect!

two girls trying to escape

I actually laughed out loud the first time I saw this. These girls are very cute. I even find their unkempt outfit very entertaining. Whatever they're doing here, I wonder? A. Trying to escape from mommy and daddy. They might have grounded them for rebellion? or B. Two girls trying to escape  from a casa? Either answer, I still love this. I am liking the whole contrast of old bricks and the models' modernity.

Dennis Valdez, newbie or pro, is very good. If I can afford his services, I would really love to hire him as a photographer on my life's major events. And I would really love to be his friend.

For those interested, you can reach him at:
http://purpleport.com/portfolio/Dennis/?referrer=Dennis

Survivors and Heroes

This is a timely blog in conjunction with our country's present calamitous plight. If there's one good thing we saw on TV lately, it would be the numerous stories of survival and heroic deeds amidst flashfloods and tragic ruins.

We have been here before. From previous typhoons until today, we have witnessed our "kababayans overcrowd in evacuation centers- famished, ill, homeless, and dead. But no typhoon could ever crush the Filipino spirit to survive and try again.

 I have written this blog, not to share with you a firsthand account of my own personal flood survival (I have never been a flood victim, Thank God!), but to salute everyone who have helped in their own ways, in small or large scale, those who have been victims of this week-long misery. The policemen, government officials (whether or not they intend to attract voters in the upcoming elections by being visible in relief operations), soldiers, celebrities, and civilians alike, should all be applauded for their heroic deeds. You saved lives. For whatever reasons you had, you saved lives and that is all that matters. More than anybody else, you deserve applause and prayers. May God give you more strength, courage, and divine guidance to do exactly what you did to your country.

"You stumble, you fall... But don't you ever forget to stand up and try again..."

Mabuhay ka, Pilipinas!... a country of survivors and heroes. :)

Ambitious. Crazy. Preposterous.

Call me ambitious. Crazy. Preposterous. But I made this blog exactly because I'm ambitious, crazy, and preposterous.

After all, I am not a writer. What would someone like me be doing on a site like this?

For the record, this isn't the first time I have attempted to blog. In fact, I consider writing/blogging a personal itch I've been meaning to scratch ever since...well, I don't exactly remember.

So spare me those raised eyebrows and smirks because I'm a self-declared blogger now. It's official. Today.

Here's my personal intro:

My name is Sanghaya So. Not my true name, of course. I just love the sound. It's so foreign!

I have chosen to be anonymous for the following intentions:

 * This site may contain offensive remarks directed to people, products, things, and others. I don't want those I have offended trace the real me, (and shot me dead). 

* This site may become a collecting bowl of my personal verbal trash. I don't want my  real name equated to trash! :)

* Anonymity means more freedom to write.

So here's my site!




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